(subs) If your D/s Relationships Constantly Fail There's A Reason Why.

So you want to serve a perfect Domme (Goddess.) you know She is everything you have ever wanted and more. you will do ANYTHING to serve Her. (In the beginning.) But then one day it hits you... Things are going south and fast. Why? Well there are many reasons... But usually a failed D/s relationship comes down to a few reasons... When a sub becomes selfish, flakey, or when the trust is broken. Why do these things happen you ask? Well... Most of the time it's because you're an idiot.

your Goddess is amazing, She makes you feel things you never thought you could feel for a Goddess, you want this feeling to last FOREVER, but how come so many of you don't even realize you're throwing that opportunity away until it's too late? Well yes, you're an idiot, but that is also a weak excuse. When you earn a spot in your Goddess's life you are there to make Her life easier, to make Her happy, and by doing so it makes you very happy.

Now, sometimes things come up in your Goddess's life, sometimes She won't feel great or like playing, She may have prior commitments, get busy, or have other things going on that take the attention away from you. This is where a huge amount of relationships begin to fail. Because if you had half a brain in your head you would realize all this is just temporary, and if Goddess has allowed you into Her life it's because She wants you there. (Also... How many of you subs also have things come up? Does your Goddess discard you for those reasons? Or does She understand? Do you expect Her to understand. Of course you do, well because you're you, and sometimes you selfishly only think about you!)

When Goddess becomes busy some subs panic, others can't control their pathetic horny urges and begin to stray. Which is really sad because you would think it was the end of the World when a sub doesn't get what they want. HAH. Do you hear how wrong that sounds! A sub doesn't get what they want!? Gross. (Some subs are locked for YEARS and you can't handle a few days/week?) As a sub your first priority should be your GODDESS, if your Goddess needs a day, a week, whatever to breathe/reset you need to understand that, because as a sub you want what's best for your Goddess, you want your Goddess to be happy. (you also expect your Goddess to be understanding of your mental needs, right?) OH and duh, if Goddess is happy, the sub is happy. Remember, you serve your Goddess, your Goddess DOESN'T serve you. So many subs get this part confused due to the influx of "dommes" online just here to make a buck. Sorry, to tell you morons, but a real Goddess doesn't cater to your wants just because you want to throw a dollar here and there, that's a transaction and paying for a service. (Personally, I find this gross and inauthentic. (ie a "domme" who says I don't do this, this or this for subs publicly, but off social media and one on one they do everything that they are "against" because they will do ANYTHING just to get paid, they use and manipulate subs, they actually don't value them. They will do anything for your money, not for you. they don't care about idiot.) I like REAL organic relationships that are naturally progressing, not ones motivated by a horny subs dollar. (That's disgusting.) A real Goddess doesn't take money and pretend to like it just so the sub can get off. If that's what some of you are into, well that's sad, and you shouldn't have been engaging in a D/s relationship in the first place. I feel sad for those who think thats what a D/s is, it's like living in a 2D World. Flat.

D/s relationships make My life whole, without them something is missing. I can't do role play, I'm not an actress. I crave real. I won't take from a sub for their benefit, unless it's mutually beneficial in a way that makes us BOTH feel good. A real connection makes Me feel good. Connection is erotic, connection is amazing. Transactions are not. Anyone can have a transactional relationship. PASS. Give Me that chemistry filled D/s ALL DAY.

So if you're a sub who goes and pays some other Domme for attention because your Domme isn't "giving you what you want" you're not a good sub, or even a sub at all. Not to mention, anyone that just takes your dollar for "whatever" reason, is really no different than an escort who's going to give you the GFE or in this case the DFE. (lol) If your actual Domme seems detached or disengaged it's usually for a reason, and when this happens you should be looking at yourself and asking yourself why your Domme is acting this way. you should be focusing on your Domme, and on making HER happy, NOT elsewhere.

Ask yourself....

-Have i satisfied my Domme latley?

-Does My Domme have something going on in Her life? Have i asked?

-Have i been a good boy (sub)? Have I completed tasks/done little things to please Her.

-Have i been communicating?

-Have i asked my Domme what i can do to please Her before asking for something for myself?

-Have i shown my Domme how much She means to me lately?

Relationships take work, and if you are looking for something that is just fueled like a vending machine every time you put in a coin in, you don't want to be in a D/s at all, that's your choice but don't call yourself a sub and don't put an actual Dommes feelings/mental health on the line by doing so. D/s relationships take a lot out of a Domme mentally AND physically. So if you're a transactional "sub" you're NOT a sub at all, you're just a horny selfish perv.

My subs become important parts of My life, I truly care for them and look forward to our daily interaction, when I lose a sub it does hurt, some losses hurt for longer than others, some connections just can't be replaced, and when those subs break the final straw the hurt lingers for a while. Losing a sub can cause a hole in a Domme's life, even when the sub doesn't understand that. (Usually because they are selfish.) Sometimes that hole is necessary however...The one thing I can't do, is continue on in a relationship where a sub puts his wants first, daily, a sub who picks and chooses WHEN to be a good boy (sub), [completely disregarding the effect it has on his Goddess because they are so caught up in their own feelings.] and then that sub also throws fits/disengages when they don't get what they want. As a Domme I will not be subjected to temper tantrums, or abusive words just because a sub is having a bad day, emotional abuse in a relationship is NOT healthy, nor should a sub EVER treat their Domme like a punching bag.

A Domme can also not continue on in a relationship with a sub They do not TRUST.

ALL Relationships FAIL without trust. This shouldn't have to be said... Trust leads to doubt, and doubt lead to festering holes. If you break My trust over and over it's going to get to a point that you can not earn it back. So yes, INAUTHENTIC relationships fail when subs fail to remember to put their Goddess first. I mean you would think that this would be obvious right?? If you can screw around on your "domme" behind her back, lie to her over and over, and she doesn't care as long as she's getting paid... Is the relationship even real? No. (you're being used, and not in the kinky way.) Relationships need to have emotions. Relationships need to feel. A connection can't be strong if its never tethered to the foundation of a real solid relationship. Release in a D/s is wayyyy different than release in a transaction, but that shouldn't even have to be said.

Now.. Let's talk Honesty and trust. The base of a relationship is trust, and the bricks and mortar on top of that base are honesty. There's SHOULD NEVER be anything too terrible or difficult to say, nothing can ever be be improved by dishonesty. Just like your were told growing up, honesty is always the best policy. Honesty, and rawness build a relationship, if you can't provide that in a D/s then your relationship was doomed to fail before it ever started. Relationships need to grow and develop and if you can't be vulnerable, if you can't communicate your true feelings, fears ect, things will never be as amazing as they can be. Without trust and honesty, you will never have a true D/s.

At the end of the day your Domme can only lead you to water, she cannot force you to drink it. (Yup, I just called you a horse... But maybe a dog would be better. haha. Remember your Domme walks you, you don't walk your Domme. [If you can... Is she even a domme at all?]) Your Domme will put in effort with you, She will try to guide and show you the way to becoming the best sub and person you can be, but someone who doesn't want to be moulded can't be. Simple as that. If you know being a sub is who you are, STOP looking for the EASY way, the best things in life AREN'T easy. When your Domme challenges you, take it on, GROW, push yourself to be the best sub you can be. your Domme is pushing you for a REASON. D/s relationships are about more than "earning" release, they are about growing and becoming the best person and sub you can be along side of your perfect Goddess. Living the easy sub life going wherever your dick leads you is very unfulfilling, you will always be searching for the next thing to get you off, you will never feel complete. Stop being stupid, if you have found the Domme that makes you be the sub you've always wanted to be give Her the chance, do it for HER and do it for yourself. Do it for BOTH of you, not just for yourself. There are TWO people in a D/s and your Domme is #1. Self-destructing over and over, and being an idiot could end up ruining the best thing that ever happened to you... Do you want to just end up chasing the next high over and over with no actually fulfillment when you could have had everything you've ever wanted in front of you? Sure it feels good getting what your want ALL the time, but the novelty wears off. Especially when it becomes evident that its all fake. It's going to get to a point where you cycle back to the same Domme, (The one who can make you feel like nobody else can.) and maybe now you're ready to truly commit, but there's going to be a point where she says NO. How much hurt can one sub cause before the door closes forever? Do you want to be known as the leopard who could never change his spots? Now that would just be really sad.

D/s relationships fail for a reason, and that reason? Lack of effort, trust, honesty, commitment and selflessness. Yup it's that simple. you're welcome. :)