subs: Correcting your Actions/Mindset HERE Can Stop Servitude From Going Wrong.

Another day, another blog. How lucky for you to be graced once more with My amazing words and presence online. Today is going to be a pretty straight forward blog. This is going to address when servitude often starts going wrong, the misconceptions and how to correct behavior before it's too late.

This really shouldn't have to be addressed but some of you are just not getting it lately so let's make this as simple as possible. How do you know that you're serving your Goddess RIGHT? Sure when a D/s relationship is "new" you're either a. Super eager to please Her. OR B. Super horny. B is usually a flag, if it's a mix of A and B cool, that seems pretty obvious. But B and B alone is a sign of serving for the wrong reason.

When a relationship is brand new, yeah you're eager to serve, it's easy, everything is exciting and new, your body buzzes from just a few demanding words from your Goddess, you will do anything to please Her, anything to be called Her good boy, but what happens as the relationship progresses? What happens when things aren't as "shiny and new" as before. Are you still just as eager to serve Her? When she challenges you, are you still focused on Her pleasure as the priority or have your priorities skewed to what makes you feel good first? Why is it suddenly so hard for you to remember that making Her feel good, is what makes you feel good? This is where issues arise. Just like many vanilla relationships when they begin they're new and exciting, you put your "best self" out there and are on your "best behavior" but as the relationship progresses you become comfortable and your "flaws" begin to show.

A healthy relationship is one where your partner accepts you for your imperfections, because yes, humans are imperfect. However, there is a difference between accepting someone for their flaws and working on them constructively vs. accepting someone who negatively impacts your life. Just because someone may be "flawed," it does not excuse them from treating their partner with the upmost care and respect.

Relationships, yes even D/s ones, are a two way street and once you start treating your partner like they are expected to give everything to you without little to no effort in return, it's absolutely an issue.

This is an even bigger issue in a D/s relationship.

Why?

In a D/s relationship your partner is not your equal. The Dominant is the priority, and the sub strives to please the Dominant.

Servitude:the state of being a slave or completely subject to someone more powerful.

A submissive almost always enters the relationship initially knowing their place. That place is submitting and serving their Dominant. In a D/s relationship it is still very much a 2 way street but not in the same sense as a vanilla relationship.(Obviously.) A submissive who serves a Dominant finds pleasure in giving and being trained to please, seeing their Domme in ecstasy is extremely euphoric for the sub as well, the submissive knows they belong to their Dominant and find great pleasure in it and in addition, the also Dominant cares and shapes the submissive.Training submissives is a way of life, and extremely pleasurable. But what happens when the submissive starts to put their own wants first in the relationship and expects the Domme to comply? Now who is serving who??

Reading those words above just sounds wrong doesn't it? A submissive should be living a life of servitude their Dominant (Goddess.) When a submissive loses sight of who/where they are in a dynamic, problems will arise. Why do they lose sight? Did they just get too comfortable in the relationship? Is it not as new and exciting as it once was? Have they been treating their Goddess the way that They deserve to be treated? Are there temptations outside of their relationship? Often a submissive will look for problems everywhere except they almost always forget to look at themselves. When a submissive starts putting "i" or "me" before their Dominant is where the biggest problem arrises.

"i'm not getting enough attention, therefore I'm going to ________________. (Fill in the blank with destructive submissive behavior.)

Instead of asking WHY they aren't getting enough attention or even communicating in the slightest, a submissive will often lash out and create more of a problems instead of looking at themselves/communicating with their Goddess. Communication can almost always ease tensions but so many subs fail do effectively do so. When a sub starts to think they know what's best for the relationship... Things start to unravel fast. Many submissives seem to forget that their Goddess has a life outside of them, She has other submissives, other priorities, so when a sub gets too "comfortable" and stops treating their Goddess the way She deserves to be treated, She is more likely to put Her attention elsewhere. Understandably so!

Remember a relationship is a 2 way street, and a submissive will NEVER receive more than they give. (That's not how true D/s power exchange works.) It is awfully selfish as a sub, hold on... Back up. Did you see that? Two words that should NEVER be in the same sentence next to each other selfish and sub. What an oxymoron. When a Dominant feels that a sub is being "selfish" will the sub be rewarded? When a sub says hurtful things will they be rewarded? No. When a sub breaks trust... Will the Dominant want to play with the submissive? Of course not. When the sub starts to put the Dominant's feelings on the back burner because they are feeling a "certain" way. (Which is often just part of their sub cycle...) Why would a Dominant feel like playing with a submissive who hasn't shown Her that She is the priority? Why hasn't this sub effectively communicated? Why has the sub chose to add stress to the relationship instead of being constructive? Is a selfish sub a turn on? Is a sub who fails to submit over and over, who constantly resists giving up control, and constantly makes excuses even a submissive at all? Definitely not. This isn't a role play, this is real life.

The second a sub begins to put their wants above their Goddess's happiness is the second a relationship starts to fail.

The second a sub chooses to decide that they know whats best for the D/s relationship without even communicating any "concerns" to their Goddess is the relationship starts to fail.

The second a sub secretly looks outside the D/s and starts to lie to get what they want is when a relationship starts to fail.

I don't know if it's because of the dilution of the online scene and the actual lack of knowledge on the lifestyle but it seems like relationship basics seem to not even register in most subs or new domme minds. It's almost the same issue with modern day dating apps. There's just SO MUCH more to choose from that as soon as an issue arrises in a relationship a sub will often "stray," and swipe to the next, EVEN IF they feel an intense connection with the Domme that they are with, the idea of doing work to maintain the relationship is too much, when the sub feels that they can get what they want easier from someone else. Gross.

The issue is more selection doesn't necessarily mean better options. More selection doesn't mean connection, chemistry, and an actual D/s relationship.

For example, a dating profile that says "I'm not a fuck boy." Do you believe them? Or are those just words? Often it means the opposite. Does the picture mean more? Is it a photoshopped picture? Is it a catfish? Do their words have merit? This is a whole different can of worms, but think of it this way just because there are countless other "dommes" out there it doesn't mean that they are actually dommes or that they have your best interests at heart. "More out there" isn't a reason to make everything automatically disposable. More isn't better. More is just going to put you down a destructive path of emptiness. More makes you a coward. Plain and simple relationships take work. If long lasting relationships were easy nobody would ever be alone.

This brings Me to the next point. Is a relationship even a relationship if you don't have to work for it??? Does a "perfect" relationship exist? Or is it just a facade?

Because of the influx of "twitter dommes" many submissives have come to the conclusion that they are "prizes" to be won. I touched on this briefly in another blog but this is the blog where I will really get into it. subs should never be competed for. That's gross and not dominant at all. I am a Domme, I know that I deserve to be served, worshipped, spoiled and treated like an absolute Goddess. Many new submissives beg to serve Me daily, not the other way around. I don't go searching for anyone, I live a Lifestyle of Female Supremacy, I know that anyone who wants to be in My life needs to work really fucking hard to be in it. Being in My life is a blessing. So, if I happen to lose interest in a sub that is the subs own doing, it's their fault, and if the sub wants Me to regain interest in them, well that sub, better work their ass off. Even after their efforts I still may not care to have them in My life at all. Goddess's attention is the prize to be won. I am the ultimate prize, yet don't confuse this as objectifying Myself, use your brain.

If a sub loses interest in Goddess, it's likely because I didn't give them the attention that they "thought that they deserved" however, the reality is they didn't get attention because they didn't deserve it. I take care of My subs, when I feel good I play and toy with My subs, and yes when I feel like it, I reward My subs on My own terms, not because they feel like they deserve it/want it. A submissive of Mine will not be chased, they will not be forced to worship Me, and they will definitely not be begged to serve Me. Goddess also can not be bought. I am a Lifestyle Domme meaning that this is the way I live My day to day life, this isn't a job to Me, so no random subs, you can't pay to worship My ass just because "you think that Goddess is so hot and you feel like it." I do things for ME, when I'm in the mood and I enjoy it when I do. This isn't an act to make a few dollars. I don't need your money, and definitely I don't want it on your terms. If I want My ass to be worshipped, it will be worshipped, ON MY OWN TERMS and when I'm IN THE MOOD.

I happily interact with My submissive property daily, when My good boys do things to make Goddess happy they get more attention than others, and when they do things to upset Me they will know so and they will not receive more attention until they change their behavior. It's really that simple. The reality is that some of My subs are closer to My heart than others, connection and chemistry can't be faked, often the subs who are closest have worked the hardest, it has nothing to do with monetary contributions. Monetary amounts are easily replaceable, loyalty and true submission are not.

Goddess does not have time to "waste" talking to those who do not have My best interests at heart, especially those who try put Me into a negative headspace. I have a stable life, extremely plush really, I have everything I could ever want, My submissives add to it, they never subtract. This being My point. The second a sub drains Me is the second they need to take a look at themselves. A D/s relationship is balanced and healthy, both parties should be happy, it's not about a Goddess taking and actually abusing the submissive into an unhealthy mental state, it's not a ME, ME, ME mentality contrary to popular twitter belief. It's not about being bitchy and demanding and "mean" and then rewarding a sub with stroking and "release" every time they send. That isn't domination. It's boring and predictable, and most of all transactional. Not hot at all. (Personally, I prefer variety, unpredictability, and a relationship that is full of fun surprises.)

Happy Goddess, happy sub I always say, and how do I do this? Consensual interactions, challenges, deep conversations, bonding over shared kinks, limits, boundaries, communication, and care. An unhappy sub won't fully serve a Goddess, just like an unhappy Goddess won't give Her full attention to an unworthy sub. So why do so many idiots complicate it? Why do so many try to shift the power dynamic. "dommes" are just as guilty...

The number of dommes I see online begging subs to serve them is absurd. "someone please pay for my gas money, i'm stranded." How is this dominant? This is panhandling, and the sub is the one who has the power to make or break you. This is not dominant behavior it's desperate." (Plus you're not asking for a submissive to serve, you're asking for straight up money.) "pay attention to me sub, you want to serve me." (Insert nude photo here.) These messages are often sent to unresponsive subs to "tempt" them. Let's be honest the second you asked for attention you lost power, you lost even more power when you sent nudes showing desperation for attention. Nothing hotter than handing over all the power to a sub. NOT. Look, I'm not telling people how to conduct their lives but calling this kind of behavior "dominant" is an insult to the lifestyle. Begging and groveling should always be done by the subs, if a dominant has to lower themself to the level of a sub or lower who's in control? Once you beg a sub to pay attention to you, the ball is in their court, and on top of that you gave them free wank material, I truly don't get it. What's even worse is a lot of "subs" have a sense of entitlement now because of these types of messages they get from so called "dommes." If you want A GFE and easy wank material cool, but it's about as far from a D/s relationship you can get when your dominant is begging for you to be in her life and to send to Her. As a sub, how is receiving easy instant gratification when you want to get off hot? It's so boring knowing that sending _______ will get you some kind of "reward." Reward might as well be replaced with happy ending transaction.

Knowing that you will always get something when you send the tiniest amount or large whatevs is gross. your dollar is not power you have over a Domme. Sending doesn't mean your Domme has to play with you, nor does She have to let you worship Her. A D/s relationship is supposed to be challenging and exciting, your Domme is unattainable, above you, She loves teasing you. She's supposed to make you quiver with anticipation, and buzz with excitement when you obey, it has never been about sending and receiving instant gratification, it has never been about predictability. Toying with My subs is half the fun, denying them is even hotter, it's a huge turn on, and turning Goddess on should be their #1 priority.

A Domme is an enigma, Someone you crave to get close to, Someone you feel as if you're being pulled closer to, like an unexplainable magnetic pull. your Domme is full of surprises, She shapes you into a better person and sub. your domme is not someone who gives you what you want every time you send or do what she asks. A Domme is not a vending machine. A meaningful D/s relationship is not about constant reward, it's about growth, being challenged, growing, and becoming the best sub you can possibly be. It's not supposed to be easy, it can be extremely challenging at times.This has never solely been about you, or your dick and how many times you can make it blow in a day. The gratification should come from being close to your Domme, making Her happy, hearing the words "My good boy," and anything else that comes along is a reward. A good sub sends or shows gestures of gratitude without being prompted. Little things through out the day, doesn't even have to be monetary, acts of loyalty, telling Goddess how amazing She is and letting Her know that she's on your mind. A relationship should constantly be being built. The same thing over and over is boring, and frankly you can pay any puppet to play with you online.

If you want to experience real D/s do your research, find someone you trust, and don't just fall for any pretty face who tells you to pay Her. Never go blindly into a relationship, never commit on false pretenses, or for the wrong reasons. Never allow someone to force you into serving them. Work on your D/s relationship, even when times get hard, getting through those hard times will make your relationship that much more meaningful in the end. Educate yourself and don't fall into one of the many unhealthy online traps. Not to sound corny but follow your heart. Being in a relationship that feels wrong isn't hot, nor is it healthy.

I am a Domme. I am Supreme. I am sexy. I am amazing. I am powerful. I am smart. I believe in Female Supremacy. I am everything you've ever wanted in life, and yes that scares you. The way I can control you, the way I can make you feel, I don't ever have to threaten you, because doing what I want comes so easy, even though at times it may scare you. Worshipping, begging to be Mine, it's something you think about doing daily, yet at times you're scared. However, is fear worth losing the best thing that ever happened to you? you crave to give up control, you want to give it to Me I know, but thinking and fighting what you know is right isn't helping you, and frankly I don't know even know you exist, and who's fault is that? The effort starts with you. If you choose to be destructive that's your own loss. Enjoy being alone. :)