Conflicting Emotions, is being a sub "right?"

Conflict. Confusion, these are both natural emotions that occur in life.

And in a submissives life, usually confusion leads to conflict, and there is generally a lot of confusion when a sub starts their kink journey, because it's not the "norm," and that conflict often leads to the sub running back to the "real world" out of shame or fear, and thus starting the elusive vicious sub cycle.

Spoiler, the submissive will always come back.

Now what exactly is conflict?

In this blog I am going to focus mainly on the last definition.

"Having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings."

This is something I often witness with green subs. Society has set a standard of what a "real man" should be, and societal ideals are often what cause the internal conflicts within a submissive male. Men are expected be "manly" and in charge. Yet, for a submissive male, this isn't what they desire. When a sub starts to explore his desires and realizes that what he craves and enjoys is not "normal" he begins to fight who he is out of fear of being judged. he even judges himself and begins an internal war. There is also generally a lot of fear and shame attached to these discoveries. And there is no reason for there to be. Discovering your version of normal shouldn't ever be terrifying, it should be liberating. Fighting who you are is one of the most counterproductive things a human can do, ultimately it will leave you feeling unhappy, empty and unsatisfied.

Society's ideas for what men and Women should be, to put it nicely, are complete and utter bullshit. I personally will never fit society's ideal of how a "Proper Lady" should behave. And I really couldn't care less. I refuse to be Someone that I am not. I was born a Dominant Female, and I get so much pleasure and happiness by toying with and controlling submissive men. I also love exploring, learning, playing and teaching with O/others about kink. I am not ashamed of who I am and really don't care that I do not fit the mould of what a "Proper Lady" is, because I'm not, it's not who I am, and I refuse to conform to satisfy someone else's standards. I will not be repressed and not feel unfufilled. I deserve to be happy. Honestly, whoever set these so called "normal standards" seem like a real wet blanket anyways...

The way I see it is, is everyone was born a certain way, we didn't get to choose our predetermined natural internal instincts and desires. And on top of it everyone is like a snowflake, and no, I don't mean that in the political drama kind of sense, I mean as in every single human is different. And that's wonderful. Some are born to lead, others to follow, and others to worship Superiors, ect. Not every "man" is going to fit into this mould of what the "Vanilla World" thinks a man should be, not even the vanilla types, and nor should they have to. you should embrace who you are, and do what makes you happy, and makes you feel fulfilled, and if that's serving a Goddess then so be it! It's who you were born to be, and why should you ever fight what comes naturally to you? you aren't hurting anyone. Fighting it at the end of the day only hurts your Goddess Who you care for more than anything. Shut out those who don't matter, it's all white noise at the end of the day.

Not being who you are supposed to be is so much worse than accepting yourself. Fighting it, you end up having this void grow inside of you, and it's sad, and it's unfulfilling. Who are you trying to please? People who don't give a fuck about you? Do you even care about them? No, because deep down, you know that the approval of your Goddess means so much more than the approving nod of a few insignificant vanilla heads. And guess what? Life is short, and often unfair, do you really want to live what's left of your whole life denying yourself and even worse denying your Goddess of what's rightfully Hers?

If you are a submissive male, who enjoys worshipping a beautiful Goddess's feet and get pleasure from sniffing Her sweaty gym socks. Who is to judge? Are you hurting anyone by doing so? If it makes you happy and you are fulfilled, and your Goddess is satisfied, who has the right to judge??

These are examples of common conflicts that often arise in a submissive male.

-Why does it feel so good to give in to a perfect Goddess?

-Why do i like wearing Women's panties?

-Why do i get so much pleasure from sending to Goddess?

-Why do i feel happiness by being humiliated??

-Why is my cock so small...

-Why do i desire to have my cock locked in cage?

-Why do i desire to suck cock to please Goddess?

-Why do i desire to be cucked? Why does this excite me?

-Why do i feel at peace at the feet of a perfect Goddess??

-Why do i care more for my Goddess's orgasm and pleasure more than my own.

-Why do i desire to sacrifice everything for one Woman/Goddess.

-Why do i crave entering sub space more than any other drug.

-Is a man supposed to act this way?

-Why do i desire Goddess to invade my ass.

-Why won't Goddess ever love me like She loves another man?

-Is this really who i was born to be?

The list could go on and on.

I have come up with the term sub cycle, it is the vicious process of when a sub decides to "leave" because he needs to be a "real man" in the "real Word." It never works out and he always comes back and in simple terms... This is why...

Think of it this way. you are happily at the bottom of a hill serving at the feet of a perfect Goddess. There is a boulder in front of you. This boulder represents the "societal burden" you carry being a submissive male. you somehow decide that if you are able to push this boulder over the top of the hill and off of the cliff, you will be able to become a "normal man." Here is the plot twist, the hill is infinite, you will never reach the top, and the boulder is extremely heavy, so no matter how hard you push, or how fast you attempt to go up that hill, you will never reach the top, you will ultimately get tired, as you are human. you will roll back down the hill with the boulder and all the way back to the feet of your Perfect Goddess, right where you belong. What you must accept is the boulder is a part of who you are, and if you accept your place and stop trying to reach the top of a hill that doesn't exist you will be at peace and that boulder will no longer exist. It's exhausting fighting who you are, you will always revert back to your natural state. you can't fight it, you're wasting time and energy trying to be something/someone that you are not. This will happen over and over if you don't accept it. So stop fighting and embrace who you are so you can be happy, and even more importantly, your Goddess will be pleased and satisfied, that you are at Her feet where you belong.

A D/s connection is amazing, it's something that will show you purpose and fill that internal desire that cannot be satisfied in the "vanilla world." And just because you are submissive behind closed doors, it doesn't mean that you have to go out into the World shouting it from the rooftop. I feel as if that is a common misconception. For instance, I have a Humiliation Hall of Fame on My website, every sub who is on that page is consenting. I do not expose anyone who wishes for privacy and wants to be discrete. Some subs enjoy exposure, it's one of their kinks, and who are you to kink shame them or Myself? Even then, within their "exposed state" within their D/s relationship there are still things that are kept private. Being a submissive male does not mean that you have to be a humiliation slut, or a sissy, or whatever else. Consensual kink is so important, and so is discovering who you are in a safe and trusting environment. Every D/s relationship is different. But every successful D/s relationship is based on consensual kink and trust.

Confusion and conflict are natural occurring human emotions. It's okay to feel things, but it is also extremely important to communicate when you are feeling them. If you trust your Goddess and communicate when you feel scared, or guilty, or uncomfortable She can guide you, make you feel safe, and help you accept who you really are. Finding the right connection is key, servitude is sacrifice, and the ultimate gift. you need to make sure that you put your trust and your life within the hands of the right Goddess. The "Vanilla World" is boring, you are meant for so much more. There is nothing wrong with knowing that you were born to belong to a Goddess and born to be Her sub, sissy, slave, pay pig, dog, bitch, whatever you may be. What is wrong, is fighting it, and trying to become something that you are not, just to fit in, and to please people that don't matter. Embrace who you are, enjoy it, and don't feel shame. D/s is wonderful, and being submissive is nothing to be ashamed of. It is your place in the World, and you have a purpose.