Evolving As A Domme

Goddess has been online for just over 8 years now. Over those 8 years My tastes have changed. What I look for in a relationship has changed, What I will and won't tolerate has changed. Over the last 8 years Goddess has evolved. Evolution is beautiful, it's amazing, you discover things about yourself that you never knew existed and you shed the things that no matter care for or need. Evolving has made Me realize that a lot things that I worried about and cared about in the past, no longer matter and that is amazing.

When I first popped on the online scene I was barely legal for one, I was young and naive. I thought I needed approval of all subs online, I thought I deserved respect just because I demanded it. I thought subs would want to serve Me based on the fact that I identified as a Domme and was "young and hot." But is young and hot enough? No. I also overshared, personally, and disclosed too many intimate details of My D/s relationships to gain "credibility." I thought posting tributes would prove how successful I was, but in reality posting tributes was only providing free wank material for leeches and encouraging thirsty "dommes" to scour My page to locate who made them. (Gross.) Maybe once in a blue moon I'll post something meaningful however, most monetary values are just monetary, and bragging to wankers and thirsty girls really DOES nothing for Me, so why would I do it? I now keep almost 99% of My D/s relationships private. And no, exposure subs have never really interested Me, not even back then. (This blog isn't going to get into specifics of what you should and shouldn't do, this is just going to be a brief synopsis of how I've changed. If you're looking for what your should and shouldn't do... View My other blogs or twitter account. There is plenty of content there.) When I was new online and Domming in general I wasn't fully aware of My Feminine powers. I don't want to say I was more vulnerable to manipulation, but in a way I very much was, I was also too trusting.

Everyone starts somewhere. And everyones journey is different. I only knew a few things when Domme roommate introduced Me to this world. But at the same time I upheld My values. I knew that I would always be unattainable. Meaning that I have never posted nudes, or sent nudes to a sub. A sub is simply not worthy, no matter what the case and My naked body is a temple, My temple, one they will never deserve. One that they continue to dream of but know will always be out of reach. I always knew I was above men and that Females reign supreme. We are here to be worshipped. A sub should worship a Goddess for more than just Her body. I always have had strong beliefs as to who I would be/become as a Domme and I always will stood by those values and I am proud of that.

There was a time where I would tolerate a lot of stupid behavior. Behavior that was toxic to My mental health and wellbeing. Why did I tolerate it? I wanted to keep relationships. I would ignore the toxic behavior and justify it with the good things that were brought into the relationship. I fell for the lies and excuses. I thought that all relationships were meaningful. I feared the loss of a relationship, the loss of someone I cared for. I have now learned that once a relationship turns toxic it is best to let it go as there is nothing worth sacrificing your mental health for even if there are "good parts." A good sub doesn't intentionally hurt their Goddess, ever, no matter what mood they may or may not be in. There are also times where I found Myself to be toxic, I have acknowledged those times and corrected My behavior by learning from them. Nobody is perfect. (I'm not saying relationships that have gone toxic can't be salvaged either. It's about acknowledging the flaws and actually working to change them. Relationships are a 2 ways street.)

There is a huge confusion on why I Domme. I Domme because it's who I am, I unearthed this part of Myself 8 years ago and continue to learn more about Myself daily. I am constantly evolving. I Domme for Me and only Me. It is who I am. It is not a job. Findom isn't going to make or break Me. Being a Domme is what I enjoy, and it is who I am. If it at any time parts of Domming make Me unhappy, I will simply take a break from them. Lately those parts have been the online aspect. As I have evolved over the last 8 years I have grown past just "being online." My relationships with My subs have also grown and evolved. And yes, it's crazy but I still have a sub I communicate with from when I first started out. I have subs, great subs, so when the online, social media side of thing gets draining I stop posting. Because I can. It's really that simple. Some days you just don't have the emotional energy to sift through the shit that internet has become.

As far as sharing My personal life with the public over the years, that has also "evolved" in its own way. Earlier in My online presence I was way more open to sharing details of My privileged life, this turned out to be a mistake. There are people online that want to hurt you. Jealously can often turn into obsession, and then there is also straight up obsession. For example... I experienced a terrible thing with a girlfriend of an ex-sub who became obsessed with Me few years back which made Me feel unsafe in My own city. she threatened to send people after Me, and constantly threatened My well being way after I cut ties with her boyfriend. I had wanted nothing to do with her or her boyfriend and for years she stalked Me making multiple profiles and accounts and even tried to copy Me. (There is a thread on My twitter about this for those who are interest.) For those reasons I moved, and also have limited what I share online. Even with the majority My subs I do not share most details of My life at all. My privacy will be respected, it's My right, just as much as it's a right for Myself as a Domme to respect theirs.

I know branding and constant posting is supposed to keep you "relevant." I made clips for a while and did very well with them, but it become more and more of a task and became something I didn't enjoy anymore. Yes, the income was VERY good, but it wasn't fulfilling for Me anymore. It became a task. And felt too scripted. I decided that I prefer more organic interactions with My subs. Maybe there will be a time where I find the joy in it again, but that time is not now. Being relevant and joining the mainstream among the sea of Dommes has never interested Me. I am more interested in My own success, what makes ME happy, and what happens offline and in the privacy of My relationships. Twitter followers mean nothing to Me as most of those followers are exactly that, followers. Followers don't make Me happy, My subs do. I don't look for the opinions of others to make Me feel validated. Sure twitter has brought subs into My life, but that's not the point here. When I first started out I thought I needed to show the whole World how amazing I was, why? Just because you're on display and popular does that make you a good Domme? No. Just because you have fancy things? No. Look at all the dumb shit that people post online and get traction for. Not to mention people steal your content 24/7. It's just sad. Online popularity doesn't mean anything in the Domme World when it comes to success. Followers really don't mean anything at the end of the day. My main focus is nurturing, growing and sustaining the D/s relationships that I have and not worrying about the likes and opinions on My posts. 98% of My Domming is away from the public eye, like it should be. My best subs have reached out to Me in private, not begging for My attention or baiting via twitter posts. How many subs can one Domme maintain a real D/s relationship with anyways? And I'm not talking about the internets definition of findom, because most of it is meaningless and anyone can have money thrown at them, all that is disposable and meaningless to Me. Shocking I know.

This blog could go so many ways, and today I am feeling quite scatterbrained to be honest so I'm not going to go on and on for ages. I have evolved, and I am proud of My evolution. I've learned what matters. What matters to Me. As long as I am happy that's all that matters, and I don't have to prove that to anyone but Myself. My blog isn't to please you or anyone, My blog is mostly a sounding board for Me. It's cathartic for Me, it helps Me reflect, grow and yes, evolve. If you're here reading, welcome to My World, and maybe you will learn something. And as I sit here writing, hello to Me. hahaa. I'm in one today.

But yes, where was I... I sit here today, okay I'm lying, literally on My bed. I think about how much I've changed and grown, how much I've learned and loved, and lost. subs who hurt Me in the past have changed Me for the better. Mistakes I've made in the past have taught Me not to repeat them in the future. subs who have grown and evolved with Me... Well that's what makes a D/s so beautiful. Growing and learning together. There's a saying that you need to try anything once, and I strongly believe that. Over the years I have fine tuned My kinks. Learned what I do and don't like. Kinks that I once indulged in no longer appeal to Me anymore. Kinks that I never thought I would like have become some of My absolute favorite.

When I first entered this World I didn't truly know who I was yet, I continue to uncover more and more of Myself daily, and it feels amazing. I will continue to evolve and grow, I will become the best version of Myself with or without your input. I will be here posting as long as it feels good to do so, maybe one day I will tire of it who knows. I have some new things in the works in the next month as My evolution continues and yes, this one new project I'm excited to share with you. Stay tuned.