Servitude and Findom. Clearing the Air.

As an influx of "Dommes" have popped up on the internet the last year, it seems as if the real meaning of Servitude and Findom have been confused with something else.

I am a Domme. And I believe that if you are a submissive male, your purpose in life is to serve. you don't have to serve me, but serve a Domme of your choice, really serve Her. D/s relationships work no different than any other conventional vanilla relationship. There has to be chemistry, some kind of connection. Without that, there is no relationship.

So, what is Servitude? Servitude is sacrifice, servitude is putting ONE Domme above everything, even your own wants and needs. However, this kind of servitude isn't going to be instant. There has to be relationship development, just like a vanilla relationship you don't go all in with out really knowing a person. Trust, takes time. Without trust, there is no relationship. I always say that trust needs to built. Once you have that trust, it stays intact. Until its broken. After that, I believe there is no way to ever truly regain it, there will always been that feeling that something is not quite right. subs, should have the mindset that they are here on earth to serve a Superior Woman. It's especially obvious when they do not have the proper appendage to please a woman. When you are "blessed" with a 2inch nub, your greater purpose is more than evident. (Adding to that it should be locked up, and ignored. It's so small it barely exists as it is anyways.)

If a sub approaches Me telling me he wants to serve Me and give his life to me, I will make him work for it. Daily I receive these kind of messages from subs. Why subs think that they can be owned after one tribute now is beyond me. I am very particular when it comes to who serves me. I believe a sub needs to prove his worthiness, before I even consider "owning" or "collaring" him. First off, because a unknown sub can turn and run for the hills before you even know it. And secondly, a lot of my subs/potential subs have a desire for realtime, and I believe that if a sub really wants realtime, he should have to work extra hard just to even earn his spot at My virtual feet before I even consider meeting him realtime.

Baby steps.

I value my safety, I'm not new to this World, and if a sub gets bothered that I don't want to walk out the door and meet him instantly? Bye. This world is different, and just like in the real world, there's unstable types. As a potential sub, you should value My life and My safety and understand why I need you to prove your sanity and worth. And if that isn't okay, well the sub probably has something to hide. Bye.

Another issue I've seen that has been extremely concerning is Dommes putting their subs up to dangerous tasks that could compromise their health just for their own entertainment or promise of a higher pay day. A subs safety is also just as important. No amount of money or entertainment is worth putting a subs life at risk. Some subs also trust too fast and have thier lives torn apart by inexperienced or just horrible excuses for Dommes. If a sub gives you access to his bank accounts, you under no means should take advantage of that by bankrupting him. A sub should ALWAYS have enough for food water and shelter. And no, I'm NOT talking about a diet consisting of strictly ramen noodles. A healthy sub is a productive sub and a Domme at no means should put a subs health or livelihood at risk just for Her financial gain. subs trust their Domme. subs are vulnerable. It is your job not to break their trust or them entirely. This could cause mental, and life threatening situations. If you are not familiar please study SSC or RACK. The kind of reckless behaviour that has been witnessed by certain Dommes is ruining the scene and giving it a bad name. There are bad subs yes... But there are also equally bad Dommes.

I put my subs through a process, even after an initial tribute it doesn't mean that I will put them under consideration, that could even take weeks or months. My call to make. Any sub must prove their devotion, go out of their way to keep Me happy, and just prove their worth. (Any sub that I have met, has had no problem handing over their ID or even getting a background check done prior to meeting. And honestly, it's not a ridiculous thing to ask at all. Saftey first Ladies.)

A slutty or unfaithful sub, is no sub of Mine. A sub who promises his life to one Domme and goes and tributes/serves another Domme behind his Dommes back is no different than a cheating man in a Vanilla relationship. Respect and loyalty are crucial. There are just a many unfaithful subs in the world as there are men. Sad but true. So if you catch your "sub" whoring around, is he really going to change? If he sent his last paycheck to some other Domme and you caught him and he has nothing left for You? Have some respect for yourself, move on. He isn't going to change. Domme hoppers are everywhere, you just need to learn how to fish them and throw them out. Do research. Plus there's plenty more subs in the sea. ;)

Now I wanted to touch on something that has disturbed me as of late. Especially in the Twitterverse. New "Dommes" have been popping up and selling their nude photos, or offering certain types of nude videos or photos for money and calling it "#Findom." Selling your nude photos to "subs" is NOT Findom or even being a Domme in general. That is a transaction, that is a sale, the sub is giving you money for something in return. The sub is not "submitting" to you when he sends $20 to see your boobs. That is essentially being a cam girl. This is no disrespect to cam girls. Work it. But do not call that Findom. A sub will never ever see me naked, My nudity, never has and never will be attainable to a Finsub. He will never be able to throw any amount of money to make me do so. That NEVER will be on the table. And if he did try to pull that shit on me, I would correct his ass instantly. This is a really disturbing trend. If a sub tells you he will send you $50 to see your vag, and you do so. Who is submitting to who here? Figure that headscratcher out.

This is all becoming a problem, some men think they are "subs" because they paid a "Domme" for nudes, or are labelling themselves as such to get a service provided.

The definition of submission?

Submission: the act of giving something for a decision to be made by others.

See the problem here? How can you call yourself a "Domme" when you are giving into your subs needs. You are posting your "unattainable" naked body all over the internet for them. You essentially have clients, whom you are not having sex with, but are preforming sexual acts for. Acts that they have asked for and they paid for. Stop calling this Findom or being a Domme in general. This is the kind of stuff that is giving Dommes a bad name. Just because you saw a MTV Documentary and thought it was a great way to make money, doesn't mean you know shit about it. Not to mention putting the wrong idea out there. The more new "Dommes" that come along and see this stuff, are being miseducated and the chain of "Not actually Findom" continues. This needs to STOP. I'm not saying that these girls can't be "Dominant" by any means, they are just really misinformed when it comes to the actual fetish and practice of it. I'm all for supporting Women. But I feel just as strongly if not stronger about proper education.

My subs do what I want them to do, and if I decide to send them a foot picture, or something along those lines as a reward for good behaviour so be it. That was my choice to make. he did not ask for it, nor did he pay me for it. I can reward a sub with a foot fetish such a photo on my own terms.

It seems now that when a potentional "sub" hears that I am a Findomme, they automatically assume the worst. And it's terrible that as a Domme you need to correct that subs mindset latley. Because yes, I am a Findomme but I am also a very kinky human being. I have many fetishes outside of Findom. Findom is just a component to My whole Kinky world. I love Findom, I love hearing a man beg for Me to take his money, but I also get off just as much by torturing his balls, tying him up and making him beg, or even just making him my personal chauffeur and errand bitch boy. There are so many more uses for a sub other than just his wallet. This is just my perspective however.

So random paypigs, moneyslaves, what do I think of those? Sure, who doesn't like money, or an Amazon giftcard. If I said I didn't I would be lying. The thing is, I prefer My money to have meaning. That's what turns Me on the most. Knowing that it is just one of many tributes to come from that particular slave, that the sub is sacrificing for Me and only Me long term. I prefer that the tribute was out of devotion and sacrifice for Me, wanting to make Me happy and My life better. Not for him to blow a load sending me a $100 giftcard. (And if for some reason I do let him blow his load he's going to consume every drop of it, so it ends up right back where it belongs.) Findom means more to me, when it's controlling a sub longterm, and for that subs life to truly have meaning at My feet.

A submissive male can have a fetish where he likes to send money to Dominant Women. But does that mean that he is a finsub? Nope. Not when his purpose is to get off on sending that money, and to perhaps do it with a different Domme everytime. That is a fetishist. That is guy who gets off on sending money, and money alone. It intensifies his orgasm, for his pleasure. No thanks, I'll pass. I've touched on this in a previous blog and will not get into it again. (But go ahead and click the word blog above to read more about it.) But there are just as many fake "subs" as there are "Dommes." Maybe he's even just misinformed about what being finsub is. As a Domme it is your job to correct it.

subs seem to have been running for the hills on Twitter as of late, which is sad. But let's get real, subs do stupid things when not under control by a real Domme and they desperately need real guidance. As Findommes and Dommes in general, Our image is being smeared.

I am writing this blog to clear the air a bit, and hopefully bring some people back down to earth on both ends of the spectrum. There are good subs and Amazing Dommes.

Not every Domme on twitter is a "Fuck you pay me" type. Not every Domme assumes every sub is generic and that he wants to be called a loser, a pig, or pathetic. Nor will she call herself a "bratty princess", have a twitter feed asking for money and money alone, putting on a "Domme" act, posting endless snapchat filtered photos with Her middle finger, promising you sessions you will never get, and only having interest in only your wallet alone while completely ignoring the kink and control aspect.

There are real Dommes and real subs out there. I follow many amazing Dommes that I respect so much. Everyone just has to have their bullshit detector out and sort through all the crap out there. Again, same thing when it comes to finding a vanilla partner, you have to sometimes kiss a lot of frogs until you find your Prince... Or in this case your Domme. ;)

Just because I say that I'm a flying unicorn am I? What do I really know about being a flying unicorn? Will you judge every flying unicorn based on my actions now? Think about it.

Conclusion....

subs: Don't submit instantly the day you meet Her. Don't promise Her your World when you aren't ready to give her it. Explore your options before committing to one Domme and when you do, make sure you mean it.

And Dommes: Learn your Fetish before claiming to be into it. Education is neverending. Even I am still learning new things everyday.

Below is a breakdown of what I believe to be a few key elements of the components true servitude. Just to clear up some of the confusion as of late.

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Servitude 101

-slaves should never demand attention. (slaves should earn and prove that they deserve attention.) laves should not feel like they are owed anything for serving. -serving is a privilege and not a right. - your Dommes wants/needs come before yours. -you do not get to complain because your Domme did not have time for you. (That hour,day,week,month.) -your Domme leads a busy life, and is sometimes unavailable. you Domme has a social life and priorities. you do not have the right to get angry about that. -when I give your Domme gives you attention you should thank Her. -Any attention you get you should be grateful for. -Your Dommes happiness is your priority, your cock is not. -If you Domme does ever do grant you the privilege of an orgasm, you should be eternally grateful. (you then will eat your cum everytime without hesitation to show it.) -your cock should be locked up. It is after all useless. -A D/s relationship is not transactional. (Sending a tribute to your Domme does not entitle you to anything.) -A transactional D/s relationship is not actually a relationship. (Paying for photos, or sessions ect.) - A Domme should care for Her slaves but they should always care for Her more. -your days should start off with a Good Morning and a "How many I serve you Queen." OR "What can I do to make you happy Queen?" -A Dommes needs are always first. your needs ALWAYS come last. (Not, "Why aren't you online Queen." "Why won't you go on cam Queen?" "Why are you ignoring me." "Message me faster." "Why aren't we moving faster, I want a session." "Can I please cum today Queen." "How many more days until I can unlock my cock Queen?") -When a slave asks questions like that, the Domme will only prolong things further. -Things are done the Dommes way and at Her speed. It's about Her comfort level and feelings on the speed of progression. -When a Domme does grant you attention be thankful for it. -you are not the only one. A successful Domme has many slaves begging for Her attention. -When your Domme tells you to be available, be available. -As a slave do not be a flake, do not make excuses. -If a slave isn't going to fulfill a task, or be available when he said he would be then he should've never accepted in the first place. (Do not promise things that you cannot follow through with.) -If your Domme sets a schedule She expects you to stick to it, unless She allows an exception. -Never bite off more that you can chew. -Just because a slave tributes once, doesn't mean that he is not a "Time Waster." -Servitude is ongoing. -Tribute is not the only form of "servitude." -A slave can please his Queen in many other ways. -A slave communicates daily, wishes his Domme a good morning, check in mid day, and asks when he may go to sleep. -Communication is key. -Control gets your Domme off. -Random sessions are not servitude. - A Domme should want Her slaves to be happy, an unfulfilled slave will not be a happy slave. -slaves are still human. (The problem is, many "slaves" are not actually slaves.) -If a slaves wants more attention? he must prove that he is worthy of it. -A slave is property. -A slave can be discarded just as easily as he was acquired. -slaves come a dime a dozen, the good ones stay the bad ones go into the trash where they belong. (Fast. Remember that.)