Findom Done Wrong. (Part 2 of ???.)

Been editing this blog for a few days, like too many days, findom is a complex subject, so edits may continue. Also a part 3 is probably necessary at some point. Enjoy. ;)

It's been a few years since My last blog on "Findom Done Wrong", so it's time for Part 2. ( Not to mention all the absurd messages I get from "dommes" in My inbox...) The high turnover in the "Findom" World continues, for many reasons. The most obvious being that, these girls don't have a fucking clue what they are doing, nor do they have a kinky or educated bone in their bodies. It was always just for the money. (Thanks mainstream media... Not.) Which is gross and wrong. Contrary to what you read on the internet, findom is not all about money. If your entire identity as a Domme is Findom, it's a huge red flag.

I've said this 1million times at least by now, FINDOM is not a title, it is a kink. If you identify as a "findom," what exactly are you? A fetish? lol. Sure some identify as financial dominatrixes but that's another story. Anyone who solely identifies themself as a findom, it should raise flags. Multiple flags. Welcome to My blog where I say the things I won't ever say on twitter... Because all the new "dommes" get offended. Welcome to My World where only Goddess's opinion matters... Like it should.

Anyways let's get into this blog.

Like I said in the introduction "Findom" is not a title, it's a literal kink. I thought we would be past this by now but here is the definition of "Findom" for those of you who are still confused.... "Financial domination is a sexual fetish, in particular a practice of dominance and submission, in which a submissive gives gifts and money to a financial Dominant." This is the most basic definition I could think to put. I know people think it's trendy to identify as a "findom" but it really makes you look stupid and uneducated. Also if you try to say you're a findom who doesn't make it sexual, you sound like an even bigger idiot. Because subs literally get off to this kink and so do the Dommes. It's a very sexually routed kink. So Just stop.

As a true Dominant it can be annoying and even upsetting to see the misuse of the word findom and even worse to see how "roleplay" and "fantasy land" that many have made it. It waters down the community and it's also unappealing to see the same cliché crap posted over and over by various "dommes." If all the "domme" posts are the same generic photos and repetitive pay Me loser type posts, the "I'm hotter than your..". Or the I am so rich shit, on their feed and there is no actual Femdom content or substance... Flag. Huge flag. A lot of these newbies decide to call anything and everything findom in the hopes of making money from it... A lot of these so called "findoms" are really puppets for their so called '"subs." Selling content is cool, like I do it too. I enjoy making content, but the transaction from subboy23872947384320 who I have never conversed with before, buying My clips has NOTHING to do with Me dominating him. It's because they saw a clip that excited them and so they bought it, a decision they made on their own. Being a content creator is just one of the many hats that I wear but it doesn't solidify or validate My identity as a Domme. (Also successful people have multiple revenue streams. ALSO None of My revenue streams are degrading to Myself or My identity as a Domme.) Yes, I do often use My clips as training content with My subs, but this is a different matter, it is an instruction that My subs follow to better their training. So yes, clips can be a component of how I Domme. But subboy23872947384320 buying My clips because they excite them is just a transaction. A transaction that yes, adds to My bank account but without an actual one on one interaction, sorry it's not "findom." I enjoy creating content so I do it, for Me. It doesn't mean that subboy23872947384320, won't approach Goddess after they view My content, but again that's a completely different matter.

Let's have a story time. I used to be on this website, where findom was the main kink of the community. (It got extremely diluted, so I left and continued to focus on My own platform(s) where I can control the content and members, while keeping it 100% authentic to Myself. :)) I met a lot of interesting subs while on the other site, I even built some lasting friendships with them, but it was time for Me to move on. There was this one sub who told Me this story, about an interaction that he had with a "domme" on the website. There was a skype call, where she was going to dominate him... However this isn't what happened. This sub began to "tip" this girl to do things for him. Things such as, getting on all fours and barking like a dog, doing a strip tease for him, using lipstick and writing "whore" and other vulgar things on her body, exposing her private areas, and yes even engaging in other sexual acts which I won't mention here. As long as this sub continued to "tip" her she would do whatever he said. So let Me ask you this... Who was the dominant in this situation? This is the issue I see with solely findom based communities, they have become oversaturated with fake and uneducated money hungry girls, who often become victims of manipulation, because they are so money driven and don't know anything about the craft. I do not condone what this sub did with this girl, it's sad. This sub wanted to see how far he could push her, and well, he pushed her very far, too far even. This is also why I have issue with uneducated dommes entering the scene and sessioning with randomsub375783483. There is nothing wrong with being a cam girl or doing any other kind of sex work, I just take issue when it affects My community and our code, especially when the girl entering the scene isn't genuine about who she is. (If your motivation is money and not D/s connection and power dynamic, leave.) I Personally, was mentored and learned the old fashioned way. I learned code, safety and all about the community. I am still learning today, you can never be too educated. I didn't start Domming for money, it was about exploring My kinks also known as things I found arousing. Vanilla just wasn't doing it for Me. A life of Female Supremacy is for Me. It drives Me. Could I make a ton of money if I was essentially a puppet for men? Sure. But the thought of that makes Me sick. I demand respect from subs and won't accept anything less. Newbies be smarter and don't become this girl.

Before I get too far off track here, back to the "content" that findoms (lol) offer subs. Stop posting photos telling subs to submit from on your knees or on all fours looking like you're ready to be railed from behind. It's not dominant, you are literally beneath the sub in this instance, you might as well kiss the subs feet. lol. Stop wearing slave collars, it's not Domme attire. LOL. I also once saw a "domme" with a candy cane in her butthole with the findom hashtag. Excuse Me? A Domme doesn't demand attention, Her presence and energy alone draw submissives to Her. There is a common theme with many "online findoms" who sell content. The most common one is, *insert photo of censored tits here* you aren't worthy of seeing my perfection... This sentence often continues in one of two ways, ... Only good boys who pay can worship this uncensored. ($5 for your tits is sad and any real sub can see how you undervalue yourself and only care about making money. Not to mention they can just google tits for free...) OR ... the so called domme says "you aren't worthy", but a quick google search brings up her "uncensored" tits, her exposed butthole and even more, for FREE. (Please be smarter than this. Also if you were a smart business person you would know how bad this is for your "brand." That's a whole other blog... Branding 101. LOL) When you will do anything for a dollar people notice. Be mindful of your actions... Or don't. Too many girls focus on this "findom fantasy," as well as only regurgitating others content because they aren't capable of thinking for themselves or doing anything else Domme like or original. Does this sound Dominant to you? To those of us who are actually in this lifestyle, this isn't a fantasy, it isn't a game, nor is it a get rich quick scheme. These are our beliefs. This is our life. Don't let bratty, mean, and cruel "findoms" with large followings fool you, like I said above that "free" content also attracts a lot of things, including free loading followers, or you know they were bought and not even real. Don't be blinded by stupid things and lose your sense of judgement. Do you research and save yourself the headache. Also once again for those who forgot... Findom is a component of a relationship not the basis, a 100% Findom based relationship likely, more like definitely will not be successful, like it will 100% die. How many times can you tell a loser to pay you until it get's repetitive?) Shocking, I know. Stop bragging about $20 tributes and calling them findom... Unless you know for a fact that they sent you the last $20 in their bank account and have proof. Otherwise you look stupid for bragging about chump change. Also nobody wants to see "send money for McDonalds so I can eat and I will send you __________..." Again... Who has the power over who here? you look desperate, and are giving the sub power. Also it's a clear sad transaction. Pity meal? Context everyone. This fantasy World that most of you are living in is offensive and extremely disrespectful to those of us who have devoted our lives to who We truly are, and you're essentially spitting on our community. In Our World financial domination and all other kinky things are just a "normal" (I use this term loosely, but you get the point.) part of our daily lives. It's something we enjoy and yes, even get off to. When Goddess (Me), says you aren't worthy of viewing My perfection, I mean it. 100%. I am a Goddess, I am perfection, I. am Superior and you as a sub nor any other male for that matter other than My partner are worthy of seeing "censored" parts. Nor will I complete degrading tasks for a price tag or a meal. EVER. I am not playing into a fake fantasy, nor will I ever be a puppet or manipulated in any way, shape of form. These are cold hard facts. I am unattainable.

As a Domme I am not trying to sell or cater to anyones fantasies. I am a Domme because it's who I am to My core, I seek connection, I crave control, and yes, I seek and receive submission and worship daily from My subs. I enjoy interaction with My submissives, a connection that is not available in the vanilla world. My submissives are trained cater to MY wants and desires. My submissives exist to serve Me. I don't exist to make content, cater to their needs and get them off. I can easily dispose of a "whale sub" and maintain My current lifestyle. you aren't that special. Sorry not sorry but Goddess deserves the best. This is about Me. Transactional relationships are gross to Me, they aren't findom or meaningful at all. A subs orgasm should never be the focus or "money making" part of the relationship. So you ask what makes you money then? Ummm... Well if you have no money in your bank account to being with, a real job does... Also Being a genuine bomb ass extremely educated and kinky Domme, that's what. I don't actively seek subs, I don't need them. Reasons being 1. I am financially secure and successful without them. 2. Most subs are gross or selfish, and I don't connect with them, therefore I don't enjoy the interactions. 3. I enjoy genuine connection and that doesn't come along every day. Also who has the time or energy to build genuine relationships with 100000000 subs? Quality over quantity always. Remember being in Goddess's life is the ultimate privilege. If you are a sub or a domme correct your thinking. The focus of a D/s relationship is serving your amazing Goddess, and fulfilling your purpose in life as a sub, as well as having a friendship and connection that lasts a lifetime. A good sub desires to submit, to please, to be of use to a perfect Goddess. A good sub always shows their Goddess respect. Goddess always comes first. Any reward you receive from Goddess including release, is a privilege and not expected. If this part is news to you, smh. I have no words. Once you enter Goddess's life you will always be connected to your Goddess, nothing will ever change that. you will always feel Me, even when you think that you don't.

If being a "Findomme" is something you only do online...That's a flag. If you decide being a Domme is hard or that you don't enjoy it, well that's also a flag. Being a Domme is who I am, it's not something I turn on and off it's not how it works. Omg this is too hard, time to do something else. I get plenty of absurd offers from men sometimes thousands of dollars to do __________. I don't accept any of them, the amount isn't appealing to Me. Nor is catering. to their wants via a transaction. Money without meaning is well, meaningless to Me. I want it to hurt (in a good way) or you know, mean something. And guess what doing things for men who offer fixed amounts isn't findom, or dominant at all. Do you know what it is? Catering to gross men to fulfill their desires. In these situations the men have the control. EW. Once again if this hasn't been drilled into your head enough at this point, it's about the Dommes desires, and about what the Domme wants. (If your Domme doesn't know what she wants. FLAG.) subs who offer fixed rates to cater to them are gross. Go crawl back into the hole that you crawled out from. Also I left a few gems below for you viewing pleasure, I know I said a lot about uneducated dommes, but there are just as many uneducated "subs" out there as well, gross selfish, and pathetic excuses for men... Can't forget the "men" who think they can turn a Domme to cater to them gross. The photos say all. No captions needed.

As a successful and educated Domme, I get plenty of messages from girls who are cam girls, escorts, or in another line of sex work looking to find another hustle. These are the messages that I never entertain, Findom is not a hustle, it's a kink. A very enjoyable kink. Oh, and it's also a part of the lifestyle. There are enough non-genuine dommes online and I refuse to add to that pool by giving out "advice." This hurts the community and unsuspecting subs who can be taken advantage of. I've seen this many times. Here's the only time I'm going to give these girls advice, stay in your lane and focus on what you are good at. Thats where you will find success.

Sadly, many of My ex-subs, friends and even current subs have been blackmailed or blackmail has been attempted on them by certain "dommes" once they didn't want to serve them anymore. Let's make this even clearer the dommes were so desperate for money that they sank to the ultimate low. AKA they have no power because they are broke and want to regain some sort power by doing illegal things. Blackmail doesn't make you strong it makes you weak and you look pathetic. This should never happen. It's wrong. What's even worse when the poor sub develops a form of Stockholm syndrome and feels obligated to keep serving this domme... (Perhaps I will leave this subject for another blog.) Anyways...Servitude is a gift and NOT a right. Consent still exists in the BDSM community, contrary to the shitpile of garbage that most of you have probably read online. Do you know where blackmail will land you? Jail. Smarten up. If you are only into Findom for the money, and only the money, let Me tell you right now, it's not going to work out for you. My advice is for you to stick to what you are good at, whether it be camming or whatever it was you were doing before you stumbled upon this page. Don't get yourself into a situation that will end in regret. If you stumbled across findom and think you can get rich by being "mean" and "bitchy" and "bratty" by just take money from "losers," please find the exit now. Findom is about power exchange. Yes, that's right, power exchange. A sub will bore quickly with a "domme" who lacks substance, actual dominance and of course knowledge. Yes, money is power, money is part of what makes the World go round. When a sub hands over money it's not about buying you dinner, a purse or whatever. A sub finds pleasure in pleasing their Goddess, it's not really that deep but many of you still struggle to grasp this concept. If this is news to you, I'm shaking My head at you right now. I see so many "dommes" stooping to new lows just to make a buck, that's not female empowerment at all. (Also stop asking subs to send you money for things that you can't afford. I'm sure it will be worth it when you're homeless on the street with your designer whatever with nowhere to put these things. If you are a domme without money who depends on a sub or subs for survival... No matter what you tell yourself you aren't the dominant in any situation. you essentially work for the sub, gross. Work on yourself first. Successful strong ass Dommes are educated, financially smart and stable.)

I'm going to use one basic scenario as an example of a Domme/sub relationship progression, because most of you aren't worthy of even hearing this. jared is a sub. jared is single. jared works 2 jobs. jared lives alone. jared has no girlfriend. jared spends his money on himself and only himself. jared finds Women the most divine and powerful Beings on earth. jared has always had a desire to worship and serve Women. jared craves to serve a superior Goddess, jared wants a Goddess to give his life purpose. jared knows his purpose. jared wants to be dominated. jared wants to be trained and finally serve his purpose. jared wants to feel fulfilled. jared wants to be owned. jared finds a Goddess, a Goddess who also shares his passion for financial domination among other kinks. jared wants to slowly lose control until he completely belongs to his Goddess. jared builds trust and a foundation with his Goddess. jared and his new potential Goddess, discuss boundaries and limits and begin exploring things that they can enjoy together, kink based or otherwise. Goddess enforces rules and begins to teach jared how to be a good boy for Her. By serving his Goddess jared becomes less selfish, his excess spending on himself is no longer a desire. jared is put on a budget. jared still has the means to support himself, he has enough for cost of living, food, basic necessities, ect. jared is happy, so happy to be able to give his Goddess everything. he knows Goddess deserves it. jared knows that Goddess is superior and Goddess deserves all, by handing over the money he has worked so hard for, and being left with enough to survive, jared now belongs to Goddess, he lives for Goddess. Goddess controls what jared can and cannot spend on. Goddess controls all of jared finances now, sometimes Goddess rewards jared with something to splurge on for himself. jared however, is happiest making his Goddess's life better, he isn't focused on his orgasm, he's focused on giving Goddess everything, mind, body and wallet. The ultimate gift. All these things give jared pleasure, he isn't sad, miserable, or forced to serve Goddess. Everything is consensual which makes the relationship super enjoyable.

Once again for those in the back... Findom is not offering services to a sub, nor is it selling content, or sending nudes for cash. Findom is not having a sub send you money for showing him your private areas and then asking him to fund __________. Findom is not sexting, or having any sexual encounter with a sub in exchange for cash. Findom isn't doing obscene things for low dollar amounts for subs to get off for you just to get paid the teeniest amount. (Where is your dignity? Do you have any?) Findom isn't luring potential subs with explicit nudes. (All you're doing is providing free jerk off material. Do you really think that that merits a response?) This is even more embarrassing when they want nothing to do with you. This is what escorts, sugar babies, or cam girls tend to do these to gain male attention. (And there is nothing wrong with this, but you are just in the wrong community and are confusing people.) A sub doesn't need anything in return from their Goddess, other than the opportunity for interaction, to be in Her life and knowing that his Domme finds pleasure in his servitude. If a sub wants to serve you, they will work hard to prove that they are worthy. Why are you working hard for a subs attention again? Stop diluting Findom with non-kink related practices. Stop slapping the "findom label" on things that have nothing to do with findom as a sorry excuse to make money. That is not the correct label, and it's extremely disrespectful to our community. Also it's a pain in the ass having to do the extra work to correct the submissives that you have corrupted and even emotionally and physically destroyed with your unethical tactics.

D/s relationships. Now how do those work? Do you think that I am mean and degrade My subs 24/7? Do you think that I don't respect My subs? Do you think that I treat them like shit 24/7 and drain their bank accounts to zero every two weeks and they love every minute of it? Sorry to burst your bubble but this isn't reality. My subs are not being constantly drained, sometimes they take a break to recover and we still communicate, because they are important parts of My life. All that I ask of during these recovery or break periods is that they treat Goddess with the same respect as always, and Goddess will do the same.

Respect should be mutual. you might've read some garbage on the internet saying that "paypigs"or whatever you want to call them, loveeee to be treated like shit and then they fork over tonsssss of money. But this couldn't be further from the truth. What you just read is fantasy, role play. And sure some "subs" love being treated like this in a SESSION or one off. Which is usually make believe, or what I call a hit and run. (Also theyare probably disgusting jerk off addicts and probably only have $5 to their name.) A "horny sub" will act a certain way for short periods of time to get what they want. Sure this sub has degradation kinks, and they get off to it, but they also control the narrative and once they get off they disappear into the night, and if you're lucky they will resurface when they are horny again. Does that sound like the sub truly respects you? Or is that sub using you for a service? Think about it. I'm not going into this part deeper because I feel as if it's pretty black and white. But these types of interactions are a hard pass for Me. I have multi-layered relationships with My subs, there is kink, dominance and submission, and yes even friendship.

This is getting super long, and I don't want to repeat previous blogs either so... Let's sum up this blog. Findom is not a title, it's a kink. If you solely identify as a Financial Dominatrix it's a huge flag. (Also if you think all subs are 100% finsubs that will pay because you tell them too... LOL) Findom is a kink and should not be someones entire identity. Why? Because the BDSM community is a special place. The "I deserve all your money tweets get old and repetitive fast, like OMG the scene on twitter is so boring and stupid nowadays. (Also stop stealing My content without giving Me credit, you are tacky af. I see you, I just don't have the energy to call you all out Personally. But people notice and message Me almost daily. lol) The BDSM community is supposed to be a place where like-minded individuals can grow and thrive together in a safe space without the judgement or intrusion from the Vanilla World. When someone comes into our community and twists it to suit their intentions and to their benefits while disregarding the BDSM code, it's offensive, and harmful to our community. Anyone truly engaged in the BDSM/Kink community see's right through the act. Excuse Me, but you inauthenticity is showing. The BDSM community is supposed to be a safe space, and when people come into it with self-serving ambitions while disregarding everything we respect, well it's a problem. Also you look dumb letting subs manipulate you... And yes, fake subs, you look even dumber. So, yes, I will continue to write these blogs and educate on all things kink. I don't care who gets offended. I'm offended (and I'm not the only one who is.) by the garbage I see everyday on the internet. lol. So I will continue to weed out the misconceptions, and if you are new to this community make sure that you are here for the right reasons and not just here to "get rich," because you won't. If you enter this community with the wrong intentions, you will end up either getting bored, or leaving and going back to what you did before because it's just "easier." Oh or just end up in jail, LOL.... While those of us who are true to ourselves and our community will continue to thrive, and grow long lasting and meaningful connections, ones that go far beyond $$$ in Our bank accounts. Do better. If you are any kind of sw'er all the power to you, I support you, but please don't diminish our BDSM community for your own Personal gain. Respect each others crafts. Always. (Also side note before I go... I won't accept member requests from 'dommes" EVER, or from subs that I have never interacted with before so stop.) :)