Findom Is NOT A Weapon.
Findom is where a sub WILLINGLY tributes a Dominant that they admire. Findom is CONSENSUAL, and something that BOTH parties find enjoyable. Findom is not about being mean and forcing a sub to pay you. (Or else.) Especially when they have already told you NO. That would be EXTORTION and that is ILLEGAL.
Findom is supposed to be a safe fetish when practiced responsibly. Findom should not be used as a weapon "destroy" or "ruin" a sub permanently. As a Domme I build My subs up into better people and subs. A D/s Findom relationship should be sustainable and enjoyable for EVERYONE involved.
subs should NEVER threaten Dommes. "If you don't let me serve you i will..." Nobody should EVER feel trapped/hopeless or obligated to stay in a toxic relationship, kink, vanilla or otherwise. If you find enjoyment putting someones livelihood or mental health at risk LEAVE.
ALWAYS PRACTICE CONSENSUAL KINK. Dommes ALWAYS have the right to say "no." A Domme is not obligated to allow every sub who approaches to serve Her. It's called CHOICE. A sub is NOT obligated to pay every domme who demands it. Dommes have rights AND subs do too.
This shouldn't have to be said but... If a Domme tells a sub that something makes Her uncomfortable a sub should respect that and STOP. If a sub feels uncomfortable and tells a domme they aren't okay with something anymore, the domme ALSO has to stop.
If this is mostly an "online" thing for you remember that there is a HUMAN on the other end of the screen. Someone with feelings, and someone who is also fighting their own battles and living their own life.
Destroying, manipulating, or forcing someone to feel obligated (sub or domme) to be in your life for you own self benefit is ABUSIVE and it DOESN'T make you a domme or sub, it makes you an abuser, and someone who shouldn't be in this community.
Newsflash your slave contracts aren't legally binding. They're a fantasy, and destroying someone because the lifestyle is no longer working out for them and ruining their life because of it does what for you exactly? Posting content outing subs who never consented also ILLEGAL.
Things that were sent in confidence should never be "exposed." If a Domme or sub requests PRIVACY and sends something to you in confidence you RESPECT IT, and when your relationship ENDS you delete all "sensitive" content that was received within that relationship. (That sensitive information should NEVER be used as a weapon.)
Exposure subs who enjoy are a DIFFERENT story. Because exposure subs CONSENT to their photos and information going online. Ruining a sub or Domme who have professional careers, families ect. who did NOT consent is NEVER OKAY, and doing something like that can land you in JAIL.
D/s relationships are SACRED and something to be cherished. At the end of the day Dommes and subs are PEOPLE. They aren't toys for you destroy when you no longer have use for them, or they for you. If a sub gives you access to something sensitive you should NEVER abuse it.
-Taking from a subs account without consent is STEALING. (Don't use subs credit cards or do team
viewer with randoms.)
-Posting sensitive content online with the intent to get paid without a subs consent is EXTORTION/BM. AKA criminal offense. Posting in spite/for revenge is also ILLEGAL.
When a relationship ENDS it ENDS. A Kink relationship is NO different from a vanilla one, consent is required and consent can be removed, the same laws apply, when fantasy blurs with reality it's NEVER a good thing. (Bombarding a sub with messages and threats and whittling them down to feel like they have no option but to pay you to make you stop harassing them is NOT OKAY.)
Dommes are not above the law.
Dommes and subs aren't objects. They're people. I'm sick of what I'm seeing on the internet lately, Twitter is polluted so this has to be said. Findom is NOT a game. Findom is something that takes learning/experience, it's a FETISH and D/s are REAL relationships with REAL people, it's not something you engage in just to get paid.
I have experienced My fair share of manipulation and toxic relationships since 2012 and I have removed Myself from ALL of them. If interested here is a blog I wrote about a sub who manipulated Me in order to stay in My life.
For Manipulation Blog Click Here.
I'm not posting to be "mean" or "judge," new Dommes OR subs, I'm trying to help EDUCATE.
Findom done wrong is like playing with fire.
I've made mistakes in the past when I was learning too, I'm even still learning today. Know what you're getting yourself into, and first and foremost ALWAYS respect the people involved and the lifestyle.
