Being An Authentic Domme. (Basic Blog #22)

Annnd I’m back. Goddess was sick the last few months. (Not covid related.) But I am finally getting back into the swing of things. Now, let’s finish this blog!

Goddess has been in the lifestyle since 2012, I had sexual awakening and realized this is the lifestyle for Me. I wanted and still want all things kink and lifestyle related. Over these years, I have learned a lot. (I owe a lot to My OG mentor who helped Me discover who I am.) But there is a difference between learning and ripping off another Dommes content/Personality. The influx in the findom/Femdom World is no secret, many came to be “ dommes/goddess’s/cashmasters” whatever. With that influx it is quite obvious that 99.9% of the new “goddess’s” on the scene are just here to try and make a buck. There is a ton of miseducation. BDSM is a lifestyle for many, it’s not something that we turn on/off. It is something that we truly enjoy, cash or no cash. If you started calling your self a “findomme” but have no interest in anything other but making money, leave. :)

So authentic Findom? What is that? Well first of all you need to be an actual Domme. Also… Money is power yes, but when you’re a “domme” and you have no money you really have no power, and it’s quite obvious. When you come on the scene as a “findomme” and are asking subs to cover your bills, pay so you can eat tonight, pay your rent, or to cover your gas, that’s not hot. If you need someone to pay your bills, you should consider becoming a sugar baby. Financial Domination is a FETISH, it’s NOT a lifeline. If you discovered Findom because you’re broke and have no other “options”… Well this isn’t for you. It’s gross seeing all these people begging for subs, it’s even more disgusting to see women lowering themselves for $5 nudes. That is not FINDOM. you are offering a service. Selling content. I’m not saying some Domme’s don’t do nudity, but not at that price. lol. Personally, I will never post nudes, I don’t even do “censored nudes.” As a Goddess I am UNATTAINABLE, therefore subs are not worthy of seeing things that a real Man can see. Using nudes to bait and lure subs is tasteless and gross. How does Goddess attract subs? By simply being Me. (I’m not going to go too far into this part as its a basic blog, and other blogs get deeper into the subject.)

Seeing as Goddess has been in the scene My total adult life, I have wrote many blogs, had many experiences and have a lot of content and information about Myself on various platforms, it is no secret what I seek . I have two personal websites, IcyQueenO.com being My main, and other via wix (My original space.). During this time I have seen many so-called “dommes” completely copy My content word for word or slightly change it. And no, this doesn’t go unnoticed, most of the time I make these discoveries via subs or other Dommes who message Me with the heads up. You won’t ever be successful ripping off another Dommes content. Why? Because when the time comes to actually act and interact with a sub what are you going to do when I haven’t wrote it all out for you step by step. I’m not on the same end as you, nor do I want to be. I am a Domme for Me, I write My content for Myself and also for subs to read so they can learn all about Me. Yes, there is an educational focus, but that’s to aid stopping the spread of BDSM misinformation on the internet. Am I happy when other Dommes read My blogs? Of course. But I am not currently interested in mentoring. I don’t have the time for it.

I get multiple messages daily from dommes asking what they should do to get a sub to ______. There is nothing more annoying then a cold message. I don’t know you, I don’t know your sub, nor do I want to… But feel free to use My blogs for guidance. The main point of My websites is to connect with subs. (However I have no interest in “guiding” subs on how to serve their Goddess better. LOL. If it doesn’t add to My life why do you think I even care?) My member wall is for subs who serve Goddess. I get multiple random domme sign-ups daily which always go ignored. I find it very strange that a domme wants to access content made for subs. When I see this, I see this as a domme wanting to copy or use My content. It just not going to happen. Especially when I have never interacted with them before. It’s weird and frankly a little creepy.

As far as My daily interaction with subs goes, well that varies. Depending on if you’re My sub, My property, causally serving, are under consideration, some rando in My DM’s ect. Kinks are awesome. My life revolves around kink but I’m not going to be in 100% Domme mode 24/7. My relationship with My subs is deeper than that. For those who are curious what it is like to serve Me, let Me make this part pretty simple. My relationships with My subs go deeper than “Findom,” they are life long connections, even friendships. I care deeply for My subs. (Shocking right? Not all Dommes treat their subs like absolute trash.) My subs and I connect on more than 1 level, which is so important when your goal is a successful and thriving D/s relationship. Some subs served Me 24/7 at one point and may or may not be in the lifestyle anymore but often still remain in My life. A connection built during a serious long term D/s relationship can rarely be severed. It stays with you for life, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Can those relationships be severed? Oh, absolutely. The foundation of every successful relationship is communication, respect and trust. Without one, or the other, or both… That relationship will fail. I’m not always bratty and demanding. Shocking I know. ;) Life happens and that’s okay, just communicate it.

The one thing I ask for from My subs is communication. Having a bad day? Communicate. Having doubts? Communicate. Feel like something is missing in the relationship? Communicate. Goddess will never punish a sub or force them into anything if they are honest and respectful. The key word is respectful. If you are in Goddess’s life at whatever capacity, I expect the respect and communication that I deserve. If a sub fails to respect and communicate with Goddess, then I don’t see any point in keeping them around. Selfish assholes have no place in Goddess’s life. I have better things to do with My time. Like spend other subs money. LOL jk… But not really. If anyone should be selfish in this relationship, it’s Goddess. So remember your purpose and your place in the relationship. Remember how lucky you are to have the chance to serve Goddess, and most importantly don’t fuck it up.

This blog is getting long so let’s wrap it up. I need to keep this basic. I am authentic, because I am just being Me, I’m not trying to sell an act or put on a show. I won’t cater to subs. I don’t need costumes or a niche. Goddess being Goddess is enough. I enjoy being kinky, I enjoy having subs, I need to have subs in My life to be happy. But of course I have very high expectations for My subs, and of course those subs enjoy striving to meet the,. Daily. This isn’t a hustle or a way to make money. This is My life. Everyday, 24/7. I’m not trying to put on an act. I am authentically Me. I am a Goddess, A kinky Goddess, an extremely sexy Goddess, My subs do all the mundane things I don’t want to do Myself in life, and more…m I was born to be served, and maybe there’s a chance that you were born to serve Me. If you ever get that chance, be a good boy, the best boy, and don’t fuck it up.

:)

If you want Goddess to continue this in the next blog. Comment below.