"paypigs," "losers," and Practicing Safe Findom.
Nothing turns Me off more than sub accounts claiming that they're a "loser" or "paypig," especially when they ask a Domme to make them "oink." 🤮
All this shows is that they're either... -Deliberately baiting new/inexperienced dommes to take advantage of. -New and inexperienced.⚠️
Personally speaking, want to know a word that makes Goddess cringe? "useless loser." I don't ever want a sub to approach Me with those words in their mouth. I expect any sub who approaches Me to want to impress, and prove his worthiness to serve at My feet. Personally I want hard working subs, successful subs, sustainable subs. A sub that can hold an intelligent conversation and isn't always in sub mode (but always respectful), A sub who can send triple digit tributes consistently and it won't even come close to breaking the bank, and a sub who will ALWAYS have more funds coming in. If you are thinking about jumping into findom, or already have and have thought to classify yourself solely as a loser... Think about it this way, a "loser" can't hold down a job or commitment and if you are a Domme who's solely in search of one because you read/watched that all subs like to be called losers somewhere... I highly suggest that you do more research on the scene and you can start by reading this definition.
los·er
/ˈlo͞ozər/
noun
Why would a successful Domme want someone who is unable to succeed and be consistent serving them? The definition says it all.... "Don't waste your time on that loser." "something doomed to fail or disappoint." If you are actively searching for losers or paypigs and constantly complain about your lack of success, perhaps it's time that you change your approach... And if you are a new sub in this community and claim or want to identify solely as a loser or paypig on a platform, you might want to reconsider, a lot of the online baiting/public attention seeking/losers/paypigs all act like mindless drones, with one goal, so at least show a Domme that you have some substance. Show Her you have something to offer to separate yourself from the pack. A sub who's constantly claiming to have an empty bank account due to being drained and is waiting for the next payday, or for whatever reason, just isn't appealing. Nor is someone who plays off a basic script, it gets old fast. Well rounded subs (especially experienced well paying loyal subs) have more than just one "shtick." (The same applies for Dommes.)
Successful Dommes want sustainability, and something real not a 24/7 role play, that just gets exhausting. This applies to both subs and Dommes. Saying that you're a loser/paypig that deserves to pay Superiors over and over, repeating the same generic "dumb loser script," with nothing else to contribute to a D/s relationship, is no different than a Domme that only says "I'm a domme, let Me dominate you." "Pay Me piggy/loser because I'm superior," "Lick My dirty feet/shoes/floors." "Get on your knees and worship me piggy." over and over, and nothing else. (Dominance is more than repeating a generic "Domme" script. Dominance is supposed to be a Superior's nature.)It doesn't do anything for anyone or prove anything. Yuck. you are who you surround yourself with, sub or otherwise, negativity and misfourtune will always follow negativity and misfortune.
The reality is that the majority of loser accounts online are what they claim to be, losers. A lot of loser and paypig accounts are created to go looking to pray on new uneducated Dommes, and they will take advantage of every minute of it. So if you as a new Domme go looking for losers or paypigs specifically, it's often what you will find at the other end. (Not to mention looking for /calling subs losers or pigs alone cuts your sub market by a lot... But that's a completley different topic.) (However, there's a difference in the sub actually liking being degraded and being called a loser/pig/whatever while serving their Domme within a relationship, than actually being a loser. Behind that "loser" is a devoted hardworking sub with a brain. Advertising yourself as a loser with nothing else to offer? Not so hot or appealing. But if you are, you are probably baiting Anyways... So whatever.)
The latter point listed above, is where subs put themselves in actual danger. Calling yourself a paypig or a loser when first becoming curious about your submissive nature and entering the scene inexperienced is like putting a target on your back to be prayed upon by "new dommes." "New dommes" or instadommes, search online night and day for paypigs and losers on every corner of the internet. The "fuck you pay me piggy/loser" posts and the #paypig are not hard to find, and they often scream inexperience and should be a huge red flag. When you brand yourself as a paypig/loser you will be the easiest to find due to the "popularity" of the phrase and hashtag seeing as it seems to be the mainstreams grasp on what "all subs" like to be called on the scene... (So painfully innaccurate.)
Eager new subs rarely know when to call it quits as far as limits go, the new experience is so exciting to them they get so high into sub space and don't want to/don't know when stop. The after effects can seriously harm them with the wrong domme. An experienced Domme knows when to stop. Often a new inexperienced self-proclaimed domme won't stop until she gets every last cent and won't have a second thought about it after the fact.
If you are new, be careful, do your research before sending, and before calling yourself a Domme. Yes, Findom is intoxicating and amazing, but be careful who you choose to enter this World with. People can get hurt and will often be taken advantage of. Unfortunately there are "dommes" out there that will take you for everything you have and leave you behind in the carnage. And there are subs who will waste your time, and manipulate you and even put your safety at risk if you allow them to. Self proclaimed "dommes" just like any self proclaimed sub can be shitty people too. Not everyone who enters the BDSM scene does it for the right reasons. Just because someone puts Domme/Mistress/Whatever in front of their name it doesn't mean that they actually are what they claim to be. Same goes for "loser ____" and "paypig ____ ." If I suddenly decided to call Myself "Dr. Queen Liv" would that make it true? Am I suddenly magically a trained Doctor? Becoming a Domme takes training. Lots of training. Even today, years later, I am still learning. When new dommes pop up on the scene faking experience and showing arrogance to advice from experienced Dommes, they are a danger to themselves and subs. Kink play isn't always a walk in the park. DO YOUR RESEARCH.
Unfortunately some people see the BDSM scene as a hustle and a way to take advantage of others to make money/for self benefit without a second thought, instead of the lifestyle that so many of us live daily and have respect for. Most won't care if you can't eat, pay your bills, seriously hurt yourself, or some even think it's cute if you have to eat ramen, rice or nothing at all because you can't afford anything else.
An experienced Domme wants happy and healthy subs. Any domme who believes in making a sub starve for a few extra dollars in her account is disgusting and isn't a domme at all. After care is essential for most after an intense session. Findom is about WAY MORE than just sending and receiving.
I could go on about this subject but I've touched on it in My other blogs, so if you care to read more, go ahead and find them. Just like you were told growing up not to talk to or get in cars with strangers... I highly suggest you do your research on a Domme before giving Her everything, an established Domme will have a paper trail, she won't just spit basic "Findom phrases," and the same goes for an experienced sub. A quick username search in the twitter/google search bar will often save you time and tell you everything that you need to know. Without trust, without limits, without boundaries, what do you have?
Just remember...
Danger goes both ways.
Again I can never stress this enough, RACK/SSC. (If She doesn't know what that means, she ain't the one.) PRACTICE SAFE FINDOM.
