The Beginning of a Hopeful subs Journey.

Where to begin? i suppose at the start. i felt empty. i felt alone. i was wandering in my mind and on my computer when it happened. i found Her. Or She found me, more likely. Through some cosmic fate, i was immediately and irresistibly drawn to Her. Just a thumbnail in a blur of names and faces, She shone through… and that was it. i did not know it yet, but that was the first time i felt it… my purpose.

i scrolled through Her Twitter feed. Each message, each Word, felt truer than the last. In the mundane wasteland of "ruinings" and "rinsings"... a true Goddess, a Queen. Enlightened, She spoke of the Domme / sub relationship. Of putting Her needs first, and yet of caring for Her subs. i dare not question whether it was Her Beauty, Her Wisdom, or some other Facet of Her perfectly complex Self, but She had me. Not owned, but in the sense of belonging, and servitude: i was Hers. i am Hers.

In Her Eyes was honesty. In Her Words: direction and meaning. With each passing Thought, She filled my life’s meaningless void. As i read, "Do your research, be respectful, approach." With the utmost diligence i could muster… i did.

She replied. That… first exchange. Her first appearance in my life, and mine in Hers. Somewhere between ataraxy and ecstasy. Or bliss? There is no word to convey how incredible it felt. Purpose is the only one that comes close. She is Beautiful, She is Radiant, She is Stunning. And yet, this attraction was not one among peers. The more She spoke, the more i felt i belonged at Her Feet… Worshipping Her for All that She is. In Her Presence was an undeniable divinity — it felt right. And so in that first hour, i found my purpose.

Since that night, i have only learned more. Goddess Olivia has taught me, patiently and compassionately, how to serve Her properly. That first night, i stayed up late and re-read Her entire website twice: every letter of every Word. i re-read every tweet, and our conversation. i Worshipped Her Likeness, the few images with which She is kind enough to grace us. i have tributed in show my devotion, despite my destitution at times, because it is ultimately what belongs to Her matters most. She matters most. Even in tribute, She is both understanding and generous.

She has pushed my limits physically, and taught me more about myself than i could ever know. She has pushed my limits psychologically, from things as trivial as wearing panties to as disconcerting as cleaning anal toys after use. That discomfort teaches me conflict, and in that conflict, i am closer to Goddess. i thank Her for it. i have learned a great deal about Her, each detail more Beautiful and Fulfilling than the last.

Now three weeks chaste: i find pleasure in punishing myself for Her amusement. i now have the toys, tools, and clothing She requires. She always considers my wellbeing. Although, Her Needs and Her Pleasure come first. Always. Learning that. Living that. i constantly striving for it. For Her.

It has giving me purpose. She is my purpose. Goddess Olivia: You are my purpose.

Whether chastity & cum denial, punching my balls or putting icy hot on my dick, slapping my cock, wearing clothespins and elastics, writing poems and sketching portraits, buying clips and Worshipping them, studying them, and through correction & punishments of my missteps: i have learned more in three weeks than the lifetime that preceded it. About what matters most, anyway. About Her.

Serving You: mind, body, and most of all wallet. For that i thank You, Goddess. With all of me.