thoughts on Chastity and Patience.

This week my Goddess has insisted that it is time for me to be locked up completely.

No spontaneous, no morning, no erections, none. No. Period. End of story.

No more punching myself in the balls to control Her cock, ten times during the day when aroused, 10 times each morning and night as part of my Worship rituals. Ohhh how i will miss those strikes, landed by my hand but inflicted by Her Mind, through to mine, the ache and the loss of breath, the warm, moist feeling of my smooth balls being covered in cum that will never be properly released.

i have never gone a day in my life before without "pleasuring myself", now i will go on an indefinite journey of chastity, in anticipation of this i am to record the reason i am aroused and forced to strike my balls 10 times each time it occurs as part of my nightly duties. i wonder what i will be taught or learn from this information, i wonder what information my Queen is collecting on me to make me a better sub, and hopefully a worthier slave.

This week i have learned many lessons on patience, lessons i have inflicted on myself really, and i believe , perhaps, this is the reason i can no longer be trusted with my own chastity, though i diligently control my urges with prescribed punishment from my Queen. This will now be a thing of the past, and i can't help feel that it dovetails with the lessons in patience and humility i have been taught this week. i can't help but feel my Queen is a Genius, i can't help but feel She led me here all along; first to prove i could be trusted, and then to have that trust folded into Her Court to be controlled by only Her. To learn that my only purpose is to serve Her, to please her is my only duty and pleasure. As it most certainly is, perhaps this will allow me even more pleasure in Her happiness, i think this is the lesson i need to learn: Through patience we calmly await orders and forget ourselves and our worries, our Queen's happiness is truly in focus, peacefully so.

As i was shaving last night, i thought to myself how nice it is to hold my cock once a night, aroused, and of course knowing i will have to punch it back down when finished grooming my self for my Queen. It has been useful to , even complimented many times by, women in the past. i was proud; i was not in the presence of a Queen however, the Ultimate Power of a Woman like Her, a True Goddess that i bend at the knee for rightly, begging for Her to find a use for me.

Goddess had instructed me last night to send a video of all my nightly rituals to Her, this being out of the norm, and i never questioning, had thought nothing of it. i don't pretend to know the answer, but there must be a reason why i was told to do this, to refocus on what my rituals are perhaps, perhaps to focus on the ending of one stage of my service, and a new chapter in my life.

Furthering my devotion to my Queen, furthering my aptitude, furthering my patience, becoming more selfless until i can truly be as such; it all makes me happy, for i can be of more pleasure to my Queen, the happiness of my Goddess is what makes me smile and that clearing of space for that... that is what i hope this means.

i Love my Goddess, i Worship and obey my Queen, i need to focus more on what that means for Her, what happiness i can bring to Her life.

i look forward to next week and sharing my thoughts again, for every time Goddess has me open up my thoughts to Her, i see how much She has planted deep inside me, and it is an honour if She should think any of these sharing with the world on Her behalf.

Thank You my Queen Olivia.